- After reading this article about a 13-year-old who wants to climb Mt. Everest, I’m starting to wonder if being ridiculously ambitious is a preexisting condition all those insurance companies are worried about. Also, why are you spending your entire college savings on this expedition? Do you know what $150,000 can buy? Pretty much another kid if this one is too stupid to remember to breathe.
- Remember Elian Gonzalez? Cuba sure does! Did you know after he was returned to Cuba, they made his father (a restaurant worker) a member of parliament. Also, on December 7 (Elian’s birthday), Cuba will celebrate with parades and festivals. Now this may seem odd to Americans, but when you’re Cuba and someone comes back to you, I’d celebrate it too. Doesn’t happen very often. Plus, he’s 16 now and on track to battle for young ladies hearts. Look out, Justin Bieber!
- Even Britons can do Weekend at Bernies! My favorite part of this article is the obvious mistranslation. “”A dead person you cannot carry to Germany, there are too many people checking and security. How can you bring a dead person to Germany?” This sounds like a German joke and I kept waiting for the punchline.
- Shut down LA four days a week? This sounds like the beginning of a Jerry Bruckheimer movie. I’m thinking a bank heist involving closed ports, undeliverable mail, and unfilled potholes. We can call it LAzyTown. Ashton Kutcher would star, obviously.
Lower It Up 