2008

I never got around to seeing this movie when it first came out for two reasons: one, obviously it was supposed to be a scary monster movie and I’m not a fan of those, although I am slowly coming around. And two, I heard so many people got sick seeing it that I didn’t want to waste money on a movie that could possibly result in both motion sickness and a nightmare.

If this movie was made today, the kids would use a Go-Pro and Twitter alerts would be non-stop. Cell phones would still not work in the subway, though inexplicably in this movie they do. The idea was actually pretty clever for the time: a found footage movie shot exclusively on one handheld video camera that is the exact length of a DV tape (80 minutes). While someone was probably just like, “JJ Abrams is just cheap and wanted to save a bunch of money.” However, then you remember Steven Spielberg is a producer and this movie cost over $25 million to make. I think that budget is bigger than any of the other movies I watched this month. Combined.

I remember this film being one of the first major viral marketing campaigns. The characters had MySpace profiles. No one actually knew what the movie was, or even if it was a monster movie. JJ Abrams spread rumors that the internet took as Bible and ended up with some pretty interesting (and also some disturbing) fan fiction. It’s like they jump started a revolution in movie marketing. It certainly jump started the careers of almost everyone in this movie.

If I didn’t know who these actors were before seeing the movie, I would definitely be wishing all of their annoying asses to be squished by the first fifteen minutes. Also, how did no one from NYC leave this movie without having flashbacks to 9/11 and suing the studio? The destruction of lower Manhattan was still pretty fresh. I guess when you factor in fake monsters, instead of real ones, the terror is less palpable. Also people were more worried at this time about losing their houses to foreclosure then the trigger warning of a monster movie. 2008 sucked.

The end of the movie leaves the universe wide open to sequels, but JJ either never got around to producing one, or his soul was promptly sold to Disney and the only way to get it back is to produce 1200 episodes of television programs for ABC. Either way, I actually enjoyed this monster, who is a mixture of a horse, octopus, and bat…maybe? With a dinosaur or two thrown in there? I then read the creative director said the monster was a baby who was scared and just looking for its mother. Wait, there’s another one of these things out there? And it is bigger? And possibly lactating?

All I know is, after this month, if I find myself at a party with a bunch of beautiful rich people, get the hell out of there, because shit is about to go down.