I’m never sad I lost. Loss is a part of life. And what’s worse, looking jealous or crazy? I’m despondent because people who chose this man are standing by silently while he puts scary powerful people in positions that hurt my friends and family. tRump doesn’t have a record. He doesn’t have a rap sheet. He doesn’t have something tangible for me to point to and say “He did this in the past, what makes you think we can stop him in the future?!” He has his public self.

I guarantee he didn’t vote on the regular or ever had jury duty. He wasn’t loyal to America, he was loyal to himself. And maybe once in a while, loyal to his board. A board full of old rich white men who had power because someone allowed it to happen. Just like today.

I tried. I tried for months to understand why someone my age and gender would vote for this orange billboard. And the only consistent answer I ever got was “he is different.” This is gargantuan irony, because tRump and his team are the MOST against people who are different. He likes 9s and above. America at best is a 6 right now. A rural 6. He doesn’t love us. He doesn’t love this country. He isn’t thankful he was born here, he’s indebted. A loan no one ever asked him to repay.

The man is 70. If a 70 year old walked into my office and asked for a job, we are legally not allowed to refuse him or her an interview. Is that what we did here? Did the ACLU culture he rallied against actually let him in the front door?

So what do we do now? I didn’t have a blog when W. was elected. Well I did, but I wasn’t paying for web hosting. I had a platform no one paid mind to. Just like today. I’m just another millennial think piece. Another operator in the switchboard. Another person who had to look up what a “switchboard” looked like. I’m beyond mad. I’m not even disgusted. I’m that feeling you get when there’s a mass shooting and little babies die and no one does anything about it. Oh yeah, that’s right. I’m America. This America. Let’s all go throw up together!