I’m never sure if “suspense” and “crime dramas” are considered “horror movies.” Sure, this one involves a murder, but so does Bambi, and that’s considered a children’s movie. Either way, I wanted to do at least one Hitchcock movie I’ve never seen this month, and I was lucky to have one I’ve never even heard of suggested to me.

The film is based on a play, and is shot that way, so you feel like you are watching it in real time. There are long, continuous shots with cuts disguised as zooms. It actually reminds me how Silent House was filmed, which isn’t surprising since many horror directors borrow techniques from Hitchcock. I was on the edge of my seat (couch) the whole time. The dialogue moves along so quickly but has within it some very disturbing content, so you are still thinking about the last sentence when the characters move onto the next.

The film starts with two young men strangling someone and putting him in a large chest. The murderers, Brandon and Phillip (who are the most adorable thrill-kill couple of the decade), react differently to what they’ve just done. You don’t know right away if it’s a drifter they picked up off the street, or someone they know. Brandon is calculated and in control, while Phillip is nervous and starts to feel guilty. They are just so, so cute.

You quickly find out the two men are NYC upper class, long time prep school friends who just killed their former classmate. The murder is supposed to be “a perfect crime” by Brandon’s account. Oh yes, Brandon is also a disturbing lunatic. This movie is like if you combined American Psycho and Gossip Girl. So, basically Gossip Girl. I’m pretty sure Chuck Bass is the grandson of Brandon if these universes somehow co-exist.

In order to (literally) cover up the crime, the two create an alibi by having a dinner party immediately after the crime, and serve the food off the chest where the body is chilling. They invite the dead guy (David)’s girlfriend and parents, which is so diabolical, I hope it makes it into their wedding vows.

They also invite another prep school friend, and their former prep school “teacher” (I think; it was hard to determine what he is) Rupert Cadell, played by Jimmy Stewart. Cadell suspects something is up right away, but treads lightly as anyone should when they are in a rich kid’s apartment. So he does what any normal person would do: flirt with the maid. Maybe this guy can officiate the ceremony.

The dinner party continues until it reaches the inevitable discussion of Nazis, as one would expect in a rich kid’s apartment less than THREE years after the end of WWII. Brandon stops short of saying “Hitler had some good ideas” and Cadell jokes that stabbing, shootings, and torture should be reserved for different annoying people in society. Phillip just gets drunker, and everyone else looks extremely uncomfortable. So, this is a preview of the wedding reception.

Everyone leaves and you assume the duo got away with it, but Cadell wants in on the action and returns to the apartment with a flimsy excuse that he left something there. You almost want Cadell to get murdered for being a nosy idiot, but instead they all have a little wrestling match over the gun that Brandon had hidden in his pocket. This is a sneak peek of the honeymoon.

The ending is what you hope, but not what you expect. Or vice-versa if you are a fan of Hitchcock’s catalog. There’s a lingering icky-ness that comes with listening to wealthy people talk about the problems of society while only offering “final solutions.” If we all do decide to eat the rich in the very near future, make sure to check under the serving table.