Author: loweritup

I write what's right, but in my world, I write left (handed).

Day 15, 2013 – The Haunting

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The Haunting

1963

haunt

I think abandoned old houses and me don’t mix. Maybe growing up with a contractor father I have something against slanted doorways, inconsistent hot water pressure, sunken foundation, bad lighting, and terribly warped wood that makes me sick to the stomach. I’m going to blame my fear of The Haunting on that.

Since I’m terrified of this movie, let’s start with the cast:

Dr. John Markway – crazy anthropologist with a sweet mustasche who wants to investigate a haunted house

Eleanor “Nell” – homely woman who has been taking care of her now-dead mother for 11 years that desperately needs a vacation

Theodora “Theo” – more attractive woman who claims, and then demonstrates her psychic powers; lesbian, definitely attracted to Nell

Luke – Semi-heir to the house, only there to make sure it still has selling power

The Dudleys – A local couple who is obviously into something freaky that they would decide to be the caretakers of this ghost house

Grace – Dr. Markway’s wife, who is obviously there to make sure the good doctor doesn’t have sex with his “assistants” in the name of “science”

The doctor invites a select group of people to endure a long weekend with him at a supposedly “haunted house.” We know it might be haunted from the 10 minute long prologue that explains the death of everyone who died there. Seriously fucked up shit, but enough to make the house uninhabitable? Welp, we’re about to find out.

First off, let me tell you this movie is in black and white, but produced in a time when color film was more than readily available. So right there, you got your creepiness. Second, you actually never see ANYTHING. No shadows, no figures, no goblins under the bed or ghouls in the closet. No actual special effects were necessary because they have sound, camera angles, and reaction shots. The good ol’ days, when you made the audience think they might have a mental disorder! Fun!

In the end, the main character dies (won’t tell you who because it was a weird scene and I don’t want to relive it) by some form of paranormal activity. Everyone basically looks back at the house and says, “Nope” and then bounces. Is it a satisfying ending? Hell no, but I literally would’ve taken any ending at that point because it was definitely two hours of my life that I will have nightmares about for weeks.

 

Day 15: They still don’t know I’m a scared kitten in wolf’s clothing…

Day 14, 2013 – Orca

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Orca

1977

whale

You would think at first glance that this horror movie is just a Jaws rip-off, meant to scare people who were just getting up the nerve to go back in the water. You would also think that this is a ridiculous revenge movie with a premise with no basis in scientific proof. You would lastly think that Bo Derek’s debut film role would not have a spectacular death scene. And you would be dead wrong. Killer whale dead wrong.

The movie begins with Captain Dolan, played by Richard Harris (the first Dumbledore, RIP), shark fishing off the coast of a small fisherman’s village. I couldn’t figure out if this is America or Canada, but that doesn’t matter. Terror exists in every country. While he’s fishing, a marine biologist diver (who inconsistently narrates the film) is doing research nearby. A shark comes upon the scene and starts to beeline towards the diver. Then all of the sudden, a killer whale comes out of nowhere and completely headbutts the shark, killing him. I don’t think the killer whale was being protective. He was just being an asshole.

Captain Dolan and his greedy crew witness this and now instead of sharks, they want killer whale carcasses instead. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know anything about them. Enter the marine biologist professor who is way too attractive to live in this shanty sea town. Anyway, she tries to explain to Dumbledore that these killer whales are more like humans than he realizes and should not be hunted since little is known about them.

Of course, the arrogant fisherman ignores her advice and heads out to sea. He really is no different then the stupid blondes who investigate the strange sounds in the basement. He immediately finds a pod and shoots. Unfortunately, he grazes the male he was aiming at and instead hits his mate. She doesn’t die immediately and instead tries to kill herself in the boat’s rudder because she is in so much pain. The crew finally pulls her carcass into the boat and of course she gives birth to a dead killer whale fetus. So gross.

Her mate, called Orca by everyone (really original), is so wrapped up in grief that he goes literally homicidal. He sinks boats in the harbor, he screams and howls and roars at Captain Dolan. He taunts him. He breaks a gas line and lights the town on fire. He breaks Bo Derek’s house and eats her leg. Just non-stop crazy killer whale tactics.

A now very drunk, sleep-deprived Captain realizes that in order to make peace with Orca, he must fight him on the whale’s territory. A wise Native American warns against fighting nature, the marine biologist tells him this is Orca’s revenge plan all along, and his other 2 crew members blindly agree to follow a crazy man pursue a crazy whale. All a recipe for disaster and death in interesting ways.

And Orca does not disappoint. He leads the captain as far north as possible, so they end up in the land of the icebergs, picking off crew members along the way. Orca pushes an iceberg towards to ship, inevitable crushing the wise Native American, and sinking the boat.

This leads to the final fight scene between the captain and Orca on a ice sheet. First the captain harpoons him, then Orca breaks through the ice to weaken the area. Finally Orca knocks over the ice sheet and throws the captains lifeless body onto a iceberg, finally killing him as he falls into the water to his death. All of this is happening, while the marine biologist stands there watching. She really isn’t very helpful, and I’m assuming she is just taking notes for her lecture.

The moral of the story is don’t fuck with killer whales. They will stalk, and taunt, and kill you. This movie didn’t make me afraid to go in the water. However, it DID make me afraid to go to Sea World. So score one for you, real killer monster of the sea. I promise to never kill your mates.

Day 13, 2013 – “The Walking Dead” Season Premiere Recap

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“The Walking Dead”

American Television Program

walk

I was nervous to watch “The Walking Dead” when I first heard of it in 2010. Because of, you know, the massive amount of gore and other scary things. However, with a bottle of wine, I was able to binge watch the first season on Netflix and I was massively hooked. Since then, it has become one of my favorite TV shows. And last night’s season premiere episode just reaffirmed my addiction. And I only need one glass of wine to get through an episode now. Progress.

The Grass Is Getting Greener

Using Rick’s baby as a timeline, I gathered they moved ahead about 6-7 months since the end of last season. Rick is becoming a full-blown farmer, using the extremely fertile prison land to sustain his group and the additional group of refugees and wandering living people they found. The area around the prison has been reinforced and people go out every day to kill the walker weeds that gather against the fence every night. Seems like a redundant job but I guess it needs to get done. Plus they get to make cool killing shanks out of stuff lying around.

Daryl is still a bad-ass rock star and everyone in the prison treats him as such. Michonne is still a maverick, never staying at the prison for very long and riding horses like it was her life before the turn. Not sure where they got horses from, but Michonne would lay claim to it.

Weather Forecast: Raining Zombies

Even with livestock and gardens, the crew still needs to go on “runs” every once in a while. Daryl and Michonne, along with a few other members head to a nearby Costco-like store to get supplies. Unbeknownst to them, there are dozens of walkers and 1 helicopter on the water-logged roof. In a fun scene of zombie death, they start falling through the roof one by one, narrowly avoiding main characters, and chomping down on tertiary characters. Then the helicopter falls through the ceiling, ruining ANY chance of them getting 5 pound barrel of cheese balls.

Carol’s School of Hard Knocks

With more children in the prison now, the adults try to create a “normal” environment. There is discussion about a “storytime hour” led by Carol. Since it is for kids, adults never check on it. However, “storytime” is just a cover, of course, for Carol’s Lil Fight Club. Carl catches her and she begs him not to tell. Instead he just runs away. Carl’s good at just running away.

Rick Wants to Know Things

Now that he is no longer prime zombie hunter, Rick seems to have taken a more pacifist approach to life. He’s like MacGyver now; extremely crafty now, but doesn’t want to carry a gun anymore. However, now 2-legged Hershel convinces him it is best, keeping his children’s safety in mind. Rick heads into the woods to check on traps set for wildlife. He find a injured boar, but the girl from the Ring gets to it before he does. We find out quickly, she is not a zombie, but some sort of foreigner who has been living in the woods. She wants Rick to help her and her husband. Obviously there is something about her coal-miner face that Rick doesn’t trust, but he follows her anyways back to her camp. When they arrive, Rick discovers that this was a trap for him to become Clara’s husband’s dinner. Well, not her husband, just his hungry head. She ends up just giving up and stabbing herself in the stomach, dying as Rick asks her the questions:

“How many walkers have you killed?”

“How many people have you killed?”

“Why?”

I hope they keep asking people this throughout the season, and at least one person’s answer to the last question is, “Because people are delicious.”

Any amateur TV writer can see this scene was created to show Rick’s new outlook on life. There are things you have to do, but they need to get done. It still left a few unanswered questions. Is Rick going back to get that delicious looking boar? How did that lady survive by herself for so long? Did Rick get his sandwich back?

Michonne: Looking For Gov In All The Wrong Places

We find out that Michonne’s daily trips to nowhere are actually her personal manhunt for the Governor. She’s a determined young woman, and will probably not stop until she finds him, spends at least 20 minutes of an episode just staring at him, then subsequently killing him in some cruel, inhumane way. I’m thinking…throw him into a den a baby zombies who have little teeth so they just take small bites. But that’s just my imagination and brilliant writing skills talking.

Hungry Eyes

At the beginning of the episode, Rick notices a walker at the wall with bleeding eyes. This catches him enough that he sees him again towards the end of the episode. This is a thematic element meant to give us a hint as to what is to come. The end of the episodes ends with a new character, around Carl’s age, showing signs of a fever. He goes to take a shower, but ends up dying. The last scene is him opening his awesome new eyes zombie on the shower room floor. I have a feeling this new type of the “virus” is going to increase the contact lens budget by a couple hundred thousand dollars.

Side Bars We Have Learned From This Episode

  • New character is a medic and former alcoholic.
  • Tyrese is just not feeling zombies in any context.
  • Glenn is not ready to be a father, but also he is more afraid of a zombie baby eating his beloved.
  • Beth doesn’t cry anymore.
  • It’s a bad time to be a pig in Georgia.

Day 12, 2013 – Hocus Pocus

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Hocus Pocus

1993

hocus

Just so everyone is aware, this is NOT the film adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut’s 1990 novel. So if anyone is here looking for information for a book report, then I feel sorry that no one has told you about Wikipedia or Google yet.

Hocus Pocus is one of those movies that Disney didn’t know what to do with. Make it a Saturday night Disney Channel release or show it in theaters? Beat children to death with commercials or beloved character merchandise? It’s really a flip-a-coin situation on a Friday afternoon decision for studio heads. I feel like this is director Kenny Ortega’s (dir: High School Musical, Newsies) MO: cult films with constantly refreshing nostalgia. There are at least 526 Buzzfeed articles about why this film is the “greatest movie in the history of all things that movies are.” Which I completely understand. It has everything:

  • Bette Midler singing
  • Choreographed walking
  • Bette Midler’s zombie boyfriend
  • Thora Birch crying in a heap on various things (hay bales, pumpkin patches, cat corpses)
  • A talking cat
  • Sarah Jessica Parker acting like an horny idiot (honestly, the only role she is good at)

It also puts in twists that you weren’t expecting:

  • Male virgin conjures the dead
  • The main character is the worst and you wish he would shut up and die
  • Bullies who are more sympathetic then the main character
  • High schools in Massachusetts have walk-in kilns (it’s a law)

The plot is so simple, but I’m beginning to gather that all horror/Halloween movies are just a re-conceived version of 10 films prior. Three sisters, who sold their souls to the devil to become witches, live in Salem in the late 1600s (ALMOST just in time for the Salem Witch Trials). They need children’s souls to look youthful. Fair enough. Snatch a few orphans, no one will miss them. Instead, they steal the sister of a very determined, but very adult British sounding adolescent named Thackery Binx. The witches steal the sister’s soul, turn Binx into an immortal cat, and then hang for their crimes.

Fast forward 300 years when a too-cool-for-school kid named Max moves to Salem with his family. No one ever really explains why they move there, but I assume it has something to do with the mom’s “party reputation.” Max is skeptical, but his younger sister (played by pre-American Beauty Thora Birch) believes in the legend of the “Sanderson Sister Witches.” With a girl from Max’s class (who looks 20, but I’m starting to think every teenage character in 90s films looked at least 25. I blame high-waisted jeans), they accidentally release the witches back to earth because Max The (cough:tool) Virgin lit a candle.

The remainder of the movie is the trio trying to escape the witches with the help of the immortal cat. I don’t want to ruin the ending, in case you don’t have children or are over the age of 65. However, let’s just say that Disney knows what they are doing. They even had PIXAR work on the special effects.

Some parts were a little gruesome (mostly the zombie ex-boyfriend), but nothing terrifying. The creepiest thing was that Gary and Penny Marshall played husband and wife. Come on Disney. Leave incest out of at least ONE of your films!

Day 11, 2013 – Firestarter

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Firestarter

1984

fire

I’m assuming since I have to watch at least 3 to 7 Stephen King movies for this writing experiment, I might as well start with a light one (I didn’t intend that pun). Firestarter is one of those films from the 80s that you watch and wonder how many drugs Drew Barrymore has tried yet. Also, the music reminds me of an episode of “MacGuyver.” I keep expecting Richard Dean Anderson to jump out of a hay bale to take down the little girl who lights bathtubs on fire with her mind. But I’m getting ahead of myself, and that’s just wishful thinking.

This film hinges on just one element of the horror genre: telekinesis. A man and woman are given a hallucinogenic drug under a test by a “secret” department of the government. This causes them to have telepathy and they fall in love together. They have kid (Drew Barrymore) who also somehow has mind control powers. Except instead of controlling people’s mind, she can start fires with hers. When we first meet her, the father is on the run and her mother is a dead. We find out they are trying to escape the very secret government agency. They want Drew’s freaky arsonist skills to build a bomb or something for them.

The “feds,” headed up by a skinny Martin Sheen, but really controlled by Native-American looking George C. Scott, finally catch up with the father-daughter freak show. They bring them in for testing to see what their mind-powers can do in a controlled environment. The father fails to really do much because he’s old and doped up. However, Drew is getting stronger with her laser mind. She can start pretty much anything on fire (cars, ice, hot cocoa, people, cinder blocks, etc).

In the end, Martin Sheen tries to send the father off to a remote island so he doesn’t interact with his daughter anymore. Fortunately, Dad and Daughter are reunited just in time for him to die and to tell her, “Just burn this mutha-fucker to the ground!” (in so many words). She obliges and burns down everything, included Indian George C. Scott, the entire secret government compound, Martin Sheen, a helicopter. But NOT the horses-she lets them go because she is a compassionate pyrokinetic.

Creepy children seem to be the stuff horror movies are made of. Especially Stephen King ones. I don’t know what it is, but a sociopath child is way more frightening then any monster or alien. In the end of this movie, Drew hitchhikes her way back to a farm, where a couple first helped her and her dad while they were on the run. Although the movie seems to end with a happy ending, something about Drew’s smile makes me think she is the going to light this nice couple on fire in a few months. Some people just want to watch the world burn. Or that smile was all the drugs she was on. Either way, typical 80s.

Day 10, 2013 – The Abominable Dr. Phibes

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The Abominable Dr. Phibes

1971

phibes

I never understood what the “camp horror” genre is. However, after seeing this film, I finally understand. I ALSO may just be saying this because I’m on a bucket-load of cold medicine right now (a bucket-load is what you have to take now since they took the good stuff out). If you’ve never heard of this film, let me give you the overview.

A world-renowned organist, named Dr. Phibes, loses his wife 4 years prior and has apparently spent that time plotting his revenge on the 9 surgeons who could have saved her. Unfortunately, he was also in a horrific car accident at the same time his wife died, rendering him “dead” in the eyes of the police. However, he wasn’t dead; he just turned into a horribly disfigured man who wears a Vincent Price mask when he goes outside.

About halfway through the movie, we find out that Dr. Phibes is NOT a doctor of playing the organ (albeit a creepy degree). Instead he has his PhD in theology, which explains his revenge: the 10 plagues that God cast upon the stubborn Pharaoh until Pharaoh finally said, “Fine. Go.” He begins to kill the doctors with boils and frogs and locusts. I won’t go into all the details, but it really wasn’t as gory as I thought it would be. Just ridiculous. And fun.

So here is the reason why it MAY be the best film I’ve watched so far:

1. Vincent Price.

2. Besides the organ, beautiful soundtrack.

3. Man impaled by catapulted unicorn

4. Vincent Price’s dancing.

5. Very well made wax effigies

6. Every death is accompanied with a lady playing a white violin

7. DID I MENTION THE MAN IMPALED BY A CATAPULTED UNICORN?!

The only thing that scared me the most was the final death scene which had “Over The Rainbow” playing over it. Vincent Price might as well have whistling it. In fact, if there is a movie out there where Vincent Price whistles a lot, I do NOT want to know about it.

Day 9, 2013 – “Ghost Hunters” Season Premiere Recap

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“Ghost Hunters”

American Television Program

ghost

For someone who hates horror and scary things, I LOVE “Ghost Hunters.” And just like the paranormal, there’s no true explanation for it. Beginning as a Syfy (back then it was Sci Fi Channel) show in 2004, a reality camera crew follows paranormal investigators as they travel to investigate alleged haunted locations throughout America. Through night vision, voice recorders, energy detectors, and a bunch of tools that were probably stolen from electricians, the teams are able to either capture or not the existence of other worldly entities.

I think it is a combination of the history, the science, and the fact that the teams don’t just chase shadows in the night. They actually try to disprove claims. And the are rarely scared of anything. Except spiders. Now of course, no one wants to watch an hour-long show where grown adults talk to the air, so the producers make sure SOMETHING shows up on their evidence.

I need to give props to several people who work on this show. First, the cameramen. Any cameraman who follows someone around for 12 hours into dark, possibly dangerous, definitely disturbing areas deserves a Nobel Prize. As does anyone who has to edit dozens of hours of footage to make it interesting. And not just video, the audio too, since the paranormal teams use both audio and video recordings on their investigations.

Tonight was the show’s fall premiere. In it, the team goes to a family’s home in Arkansas. The Southern ones are always interesting. Well, actually so are the Northeast ones. And the Coastline ones. Okay, all Americans with haunted houses are interesting. The family (self-admitted skeptics turned freaked-out homeowners) bought an early 20th century mansion with the hopes of fixing it up and not at all raising depressed spirits. However, these things happen, and they call in the “Ghost Hunters” to prove they are not crazy.

Through some investigation, the owners and the investigators find out that a woman who lived in the house waited for decades on a married man who never kept his promise. She supposedly committed suicide after her beloved finally wrote her a letter that said, “Yeah, I’m done. Never leaving my wife. Sorry about stringing you along for so long!”

Sad story, but was it enough to make her spirit haunt this family who looks like perfectly nice Americans just trying to renovate a haunted house? The investigators were also told of reports of  “doppelgangers” which are look-a-like ghosts who I assume exist to freak you out, but also there to take over your body. Even the paranormal investigators said, that’s a little outside even our realm of possibility.

The team was able to capture some voices and shadows, but nothing as substantial as I’ve seen in the past on this show. One of my favorite things about the show is how hard they try to make a claim “debunkable.” I like it even more when they say “debunkable” because it’s a silly word.

As one of my guilty pleasures, I will continue to watch this show until there is no more haunted places to investigate. I just hope the show lasts long enough that the investigators encounter a ghost who was a fan of the show when they were alive. Circle of (after)life.

Day 8, 2013 – The Call of Cthulhu

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The Call of Cthulhu

2005

cthulhu

First, let me explain Cthulhu to those who don’t know what it is. It is giant sea creature created by author and suspected (well, definite) racist H. P. Lovecraft. The description that is in the book and copied from Wikipedia is “A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind.” Sounds like a thing backwoods folk would worship, which is where the movie eventually takes us.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. It should be noted that this movie only 46 minutes long, in black and white, and silent. Very retro, right? The post production black-and-white filter along with the precisely placed digital music soundtrack makes the film, well, weird to watch. Although, maybe that’s the point. It’s awkward. Like watching a friend’s movie at a small film festival you decided to attend because they offered free wine, but everyone there speaks with an “urban French accent.”

The story is interesting, I suppose. Especially if you’ve never heard of the Cthulhu following that has gained monstrous (pun intended) popularity since Lovecraft’s death. It starts with an institutionalized man begging another fellow to burn the work of his great-uncle. Through a series of flashbacks, we find out this man’s great-uncle was obsessed with this mysterious creature who haunts dreams of artists and possibly causes terrible things to happen in the world.

Through even FURTHER flashbacks of supporting characters we find out that Bayou Bumpkins (trademark pending on this one) worshiped this Cthulhu and offered human sacrifices to him through what looks like a pretty rocking ritual. Local cops and archaeologists try to break up the party and of course bring the idol of Cthulhu back to civilization. Never a good idea. Leave the crazy with the crazy.

The final encounter with the flying octopus is through a group of sailors who find an abandoned ship floating in the ocean and they decide to commandeer it. Abandoned ships are the creepiest of all vessels to find, I think, but apparently the sailors just think, “Sweet! Free boat!”

The abandoned ship brings them to an island where they find the very gross looking, but very large monster Cthulhu, who has been chillin’, waiting for the stars to line up just right. Then, it’s mind-clobbering time! Cthulhu basically makes the sailors go so insane, they jump to their deaths. I can only assume that Cthulhu likes the brains of the crazy, hence why the Bayou Bumpkins, overworked detectives, and crazy artists were prime prey.

The movie ends with the man from the beginning seeing visions of Cthulhu as he is taken away. The end.

The recent resurgence of “Cthulhu worship” is a fun deity to add to the mixture, when God is being too “wrath-y” and Satan just is being too much of a task-master (stop asking people to do you bidding, Beelzebub. If you want shit done right, do it yo’self). The movie definitely isn’t scary, because the effects are from 1926 and Michael Bay ruined imagination for us. It’s still a fun quick little film to watch around Halloween. And possibly Christmas too, if baby Jesus is being too needy for you.

Day 7, 2013 – 30 Days of Night

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30 Days of Night

2007

30 days

30 Days of Night is one of those films that I thought had an interesting concept, but never had the nerve to watch it. But that was before I determined I could watch anything for 31 days. Including a Josh Hartnett film.

According to this story, it took a few centuries for vampires to understand the earth’s axis and rotation. Now I’m not blaming this on the education system, because these vampires are obviously not American. Or attractive. They send a human scout (who desperately wants to be one of them…because of the benefits) ahead of their invasion to the northernmost American town in Alaska. He kills all the sled dogs (nooooo not the puppies!!!) and destroys the only other means out of town, a helicopter.

All of this happens right as the town’s population is cut by 2/3rds because they are heading into 30 days of darkness (polar night). Most of the women and children bounce, leaving the most manly of men to watch the town. And Josh Hartnett.

Hartnett’s character is the (co?)-sheriff of the town. His weed-smoking grandmother is the dispatcher, and his brother is…15. His ex-wife is a fire marshal for the state and she gets stuck in town, conveniently when she doesn’t make it to the airport on time. I think we all know where this horror story is headed: more little Josh Hartnetts.

I’m kidding, that’s cruel.

When vampires descend on the remaining citizens of the town, they somehow go for the jugular but the victim is magically able to scream while dying. (SIDE NOTE: Drinking game–sip every time you hear the Wilhelm scream). This sets up a frightening scene of Josh rounding up whomever he can and hiding out in places the vampires have already looked for prey. Because apparently, vampires tag where they have already been so they don’t go back. In this time, Josh also manages to grow his signature creepy hipster mustache that somehow made him a “heartthrob.”

The vampires talk to each other in what I can only describe as a mixture of Klingon and Velociraptor. Very annoying. They also don’t clean up, so by the end of the film, they’re still covered with their meal from the first day. Gross. I’m still very upset about the puppies.

The vampire deaths are gruesome, but kind of creative. I wasn’t exactly scared, but there were enough jump scenes to keep me on my feet. I won’t ruin the conclusion because it makes sense, but it was still a twist. The movie ends with a look from the main actress that can only be described as, “There WILL be a sequel and I probably won’t be in it.”

Day 6, 2013 – The Frighteners

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The Frighteners

1996

frighten

Even though I’ve never sat down to watch all of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, I still understand why people love Peter Jackson. His visions far exceed the special effects world he lives in, but he still tries to make it believable. And in the situation of The Frighteners, if he can’t make it believable, he’s going to make it so ridiculous with a story so entertaining, that you don’t care.

The film begins with what seems to be a poltergeist ruining the wallpaper and tripping people up on old rugs. So from the start, we know that we are not dealing with a lazy ghost. In fact, he seems a little ADD, not exactly focusing on one area of the house or the terrified woman’s body. He gets distracted, which is fine. He was human.

Michael J. Fox’s character enters as a con man who uses his talents to talk to ghosts as his way to make money. He employs spirits from the local graveyard to be his lackeys. While this is going on, the town is gripped with dozens of unexplained deaths since the explained deaths of a mass murderer 30 years prior. Even though the killer was executed, we soon learn that something keeps his death tally rising.

Fox’s character doesn’t really want anything to do with that. He’s just a grieving widow (of course) living in an unfinished dream house (metaphor) with no real prospects or hope for the future (obviously). Until he sees numbers on people’s foreheads who are about to die.

As a psychic telling the police who is about to die, even small time best friends get suspicious and sick the feds on you (and this was pre-9/11). An FBI agent who looks like Hitler with a Vitamin D deficiency is assigned his case. The agent, Milton Dammers, has become so paranoid from working undercover with occult and violent religious sects for so long that he is now afraid of women. This is apparently a side-effect of working in the paranormal for so long. Not sure what you’re digging at there, Mr. Jackson.

The movie continues with the introduction of ghosts with comedic relief, ghosts who get in the way, and ghosts who just want to kill everyone. So their world is pretty much the same as the living, except they never get to change their clothes. Of course in the end, the demon and his lover are sent to hell and the good spirits who remain can finally get some rest without some con man waking them up to make a quick buck.

It wasn’t a frightening movie, and the special effects were on par with Casper. However, this definitely falls in the sub-genre of comedy-horror (different from campy-horror, wayyyy different from satircal-horror). I doubt it would even come close to be an R-rated movie today. The jokes were funny for the sake of being funny, and the violence was ridiculous by the end. However, It was a nice reprieve in between my “Frighteners” of movies titles.

Shut up, WIB, I’m not even thinking about you…