Orca

1977

You would think at first glance that this horror movie is just a Jaws rip-off, meant to scare people who were just getting up the nerve to go back in the water. You would also think that this is a ridiculous revenge movie with a premise with no basis in scientific proof. You would lastly think that Bo Derek’s debut film role would not have a spectacular death scene. And you would be dead wrong. Killer whale dead wrong.

The movie begins with Captain Dolan, played by Richard Harris (the first Dumbledore, RIP), shark fishing off the coast of a small fisherman’s village. I couldn’t figure out if this is America or Canada, but that doesn’t matter. Terror exists in every country. While he’s fishing, a marine biologist diver (who inconsistently narrates the film) is doing research nearby. A shark comes upon the scene and starts to beeline towards the diver. Then all of the sudden, a killer whale comes out of nowhere and completely headbutts the shark, killing him. I don’t think the killer whale was being protective. He was just being an asshole.

Captain Dolan and his greedy crew witness this and now instead of sharks, they want killer whale carcasses instead. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know anything about them. Enter the marine biologist professor who is way too attractive to live in this shanty sea town. Anyway, she tries to explain to Dumbledore that these killer whales are more like humans than he realizes and should not be hunted since little is known about them.

Of course, the arrogant fisherman ignores her advice and heads out to sea. He really is no different then the stupid blondes who investigate the strange sounds in the basement. He immediately finds a pod and shoots. Unfortunately, he grazes the male he was aiming at and instead hits his mate. She doesn’t die immediately and instead tries to kill herself in the boat’s rudder because she is in so much pain. The crew finally pulls her carcass into the boat and of course she gives birth to a dead killer whale fetus. So gross.

Her mate, called Orca by everyone (really original), is so wrapped up in grief that he goes literally homicidal. He sinks boats in the harbor, he screams and howls and roars at Captain Dolan. He taunts him. He breaks a gas line and lights the town on fire. He breaks Bo Derek’s house and eats her leg. Just non-stop crazy killer whale tactics.

A now very drunk, sleep-deprived Captain realizes that in order to make peace with Orca, he must fight him on the whale’s territory. A wise Native American warns against fighting nature, the marine biologist tells him this is Orca’s revenge plan all along, and his other 2 crew members blindly agree to follow a crazy man pursue a crazy whale. All a recipe for disaster and death in interesting ways.

And Orca does not disappoint. He leads the captain as far north as possible, so they end up in the land of the icebergs, picking off crew members along the way. Orca pushes an iceberg towards to ship, inevitable crushing the wise Native American, and sinking the boat.

This leads to the final fight scene between the captain and Orca on a ice sheet. First the captain harpoons him, then Orca breaks through the ice to weaken the area. Finally Orca knocks over the ice sheet and throws the captains lifeless body onto a iceberg, finally killing him as he falls into the water to his death. All of this is happening, while the marine biologist stands there watching. She really isn’t very helpful, and I’m assuming she is just taking notes for her lecture.

The moral of the story is don’t fuck with killer whales. They will stalk, and taunt, and kill you. This movie didn’t make me afraid to go in the water. However, it DID make me afraid to go to Sea World. So score one for you, real killer monster of the sea. I promise to never kill your mates.