The Call of Cthulhu

2005

First, let me explain Cthulhu to those who don’t know what it is. It is giant sea creature created by author and suspected (well, definite) racist H. P. Lovecraft. The description that is in the book and copied from Wikipedia is “A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind.” Sounds like a thing backwoods folk would worship, which is where the movie eventually takes us.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. It should be noted that this movie only 46 minutes long, in black and white, and silent. Very retro, right? The post production black-and-white filter along with the precisely placed digital music soundtrack makes the film, well, weird to watch. Although, maybe that’s the point. It’s awkward. Like watching a friend’s movie at a small film festival you decided to attend because they offered free wine, but everyone there speaks with an “urban French accent.”

The story is interesting, I suppose. Especially if you’ve never heard of the Cthulhu following that has gained monstrous (pun intended) popularity since Lovecraft’s death. It starts with an institutionalized man begging another fellow to burn the work of his great-uncle. Through a series of flashbacks, we find out this man’s great-uncle was obsessed with this mysterious creature who haunts dreams of artists and possibly causes terrible things to happen in the world.

Through even FURTHER flashbacks of supporting characters we find out that Bayou Bumpkins (trademark pending on this one) worshiped this Cthulhu and offered human sacrifices to him through what looks like a pretty rocking ritual. Local cops and archaeologists try to break up the party and of course bring the idol of Cthulhu back to civilization. Never a good idea. Leave the crazy with the crazy.

The final encounter with the flying octopus is through a group of sailors who find an abandoned ship floating in the ocean and they decide to commandeer it. Abandoned ships are the creepiest of all vessels to find, I think, but apparently the sailors just think, “Sweet! Free boat!”

The abandoned ship brings them to an island where they find the very gross looking, but very large monster Cthulhu, who has been chillin’, waiting for the stars to line up just right. Then, it’s mind-clobbering time! Cthulhu basically makes the sailors go so insane, they jump to their deaths. I can only assume that Cthulhu likes the brains of the crazy, hence why the Bayou Bumpkins, overworked detectives, and crazy artists were prime prey.

The movie ends with the man from the beginning seeing visions of Cthulhu as he is taken away. The end.

The recent resurgence of “Cthulhu worship” is a fun deity to add to the mixture, when God is being too “wrath-y” and Satan just is being too much of a task-master (stop asking people to do you bidding, Beelzebub. If you want shit done right, do it yo’self). The movie definitely isn’t scary, because the effects are from 1926 and Michael Bay ruined imagination for us. It’s still a fun quick little film to watch around Halloween. And possibly Christmas too, if baby Jesus is being too needy for you.